I’ve been doing this gig for almost 3 years now. The wife. The mother. The general managing of the home. And I wish I could say that it got easier but it hasn’t. Sometimes life is wonderful and sometimes it is pure chaos. I expected as much when I realized my daughter had started colluding with our two beagles to maximize their reign of terror together. Now we just hope for the best everyday and try to have fun along the way.
My husband and I met when I was still in high school. Neither of us were looking for love or particularly keen on dating at the time we met but there was a spark that we couldn’t ignore. Our relationship was something else. We brought both the best and the worst out of each other, shared many similar passions, and weathered some pretty intense storms together. We were quite a scandal back in the day but 4 years later, the knot was happily tied.
You’ll never hear me boast about being a great housewife and thankfully, my husband knew what he was getting himself into before we got married. My cooking is as bad as Gordon Ramsay loves to scream and cry about. I’m loud, insubordinate, and most of the stereotypical housewife interests bore me to tears. Children don’t make sense to me and I’m scared of their germs.
Basically, I’m the kind of girl you bring home to your mother if you want her to cry or have a heart attack.
But we lived happily like this. Hubby cooked and I cleaned. I managed the bills and he took the car for oil changes. Most of our time was spent focusing on finishing our degrees or working . When we had free time, we took our two beagles to the park to play and spent Saturday mornings people watching and discussing philosophy at coffee shops. It seemed like we were such sophisticated married people.
Things changed drastically when our daughter joined our family though. I needed to buckle down, provide this baby with a good, stable home, and be a responsible mama. I was so excited as a first time parent.
So I stepped up my game and did my research mainly checking out parenting books and reading up on mommy blogs. I tried creating homemade baby food that was instagram worthy and redecorated my home every other weekend so it would be the perfect “kid-friendly” adult house. Hours were spent perfecting my ensemble as the perfect mom.
In one word, the experience of trying to do it all was hell.
How some of those mamas are able to balance everything on their plate is beyond my comprehension. Seriously, they must be unicorns. Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t have it all. I couldn’t become Betty Crocker, the Proverbs 31 woman, Maria Montessori, and still be me.
So I made the best decision for my family and gave up. I stopped spreading myself thin trying to do it all. I stopped living up to the expectations that I was supposed to have everything all together all the time. I gave myself permission to make mistakes and figure this whole motherhood situation out at my own pace.
As it turns out, I’m a pretty average, ordinary mom on a lot of aspects. And that is absolutely fine with me. I like it because it’s cleared up space in my life for me to focus on just loving and enjoying my family. My daughter deserves the absolute best and now I can give her my best.
We are making it work quite well.
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